Star Around My Neck

Now I just bought another star to wear around my neck. Third in a short line of such stars; the first being one made of leaves which I wore when I belonged to Greenwood, the second a small and simple line for Blue Heron, and this third is rough and twists like a vine. This new one didn’t cost nearly as much as its 18 inch chain. I took off the old one and lost it when I started apartment shopping last summer, and the one of leaves didn’t speak to me when I started wearing that one again. So I took myself off to the Turning Wheel in Glen Burnie and got myself this one new.

I found myself unexpectedly out of practice wearing one around. I decided to break it in by going to Quiznos and Starbucks, two establishments which I could replace with versions the next town over. In all my six months here in GB, I’ve yet to run into a clearly marked pagan in public, so I wasn’t expected the complete absence of glances. Nothing. So often we tell ourselves that we are content to be pagan in secret, and then we go about in jewelry that proclaims our faith. Or we tell ourselves we are over that phase in our lives. Of course, then when we get snubbed we find out different. Now, I don’t need to go back to my teenage years when someone tried to light off my hair with a cigarette lighter. But I’m a wallflower enough as it is these days.

On the other hand, I also bought a hematite keyring and a tape of Starhawk talking about paganism in the 21st century. The tapes out in my car, or I’d give you the title. So you can see how memorable the recording was for me. I was captivated though about finally hearing the voice behind the first books of my early pagan years. Strange that she sounded a lot like I had actually thought she sounded. Hesitant, amused, a bit like Boston although she lives in California. It’s been a long time since I first became disappointed with her, and a long time in understanding why.

Starhawk’s never written another Witchy book. Pagan books, and books on being part of the global justice movement, books I’ve loved all on their own. Yet, nothing for the actual Craft, nothing Wiccan. So she was so easily displaced by later contenders, Mama Silver to name just one, and wasn’t an elder in the Craft when I needed elders so much myself. P.C. started off so well, and then we got Love Spell. I’m left to wonder if it’s something people ever fear when they sit down to write for the first time.