Fourth Horseman
Now we lost a planet. Granted, the ball of ice had only been around for some 76 years and was created after an observatory decided that a ninth planet existed, and then lo!
Olive predicts: publishers reaping the profits of billions of new science textbooks for colleges only, astrologers reaping the profits of thousands of Scorpios with sudden onsets of inferiority, Christian evangelicals reaping a new sign of the coming end of days. Pluto’s fall from the heavens already garners thunderings that this vote by a bunch of geeks has invoked down the Fourth Horseman of the Apocolypse. You will also be interested to learn that Pluto’s rider is none other than Osama bin Laden. What- you didn’t guess?
Just because the horse of the 4th is supposed to be green. Which makes this whole nonsense that the rider is OBL instantly disprovable. Who could mistake green meaning anyone other than Al Gore?!
Allow me to correct a little more. The 1st Horseman appeared as Clinton, cleverly disguising his bow and crown as the saxophone and the condom. 2nd Horseman: the Dalai Lama. Does he ever dress in anything other than red? Does he not invade college campuses in our nation and seduce away rich white kids with chanting and a stupid bell? For the 3rd Horseman, one looks to all the poor black people who didn’t die in Katrina and now expect hard-working American taxpayers to rebuild their city. Now isn’t this list just way more trendy?!
Speaking of lists, now that Pluto’s been downgraded, perhaps a name change is in order. Since it’s an ice ball, how about Vodka or Snowball? Given the weight people give to a name, one type of crazy to another, perhaps we should go through society and find alternate names to everything people insist has some adverse affect on humanity. Would be a lot cheaper than foreign aid or the global eradication of Tuberculosis (which is the #1 killer on the African continent). Venus could be Blueberry and Mars could be Apple. Instead of recognizing the state of Isreal, it would be the state of Sandcastle. Could a new name project be worse than another season of American Idol?
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Pluto, astrology, Osama bin Laden, Al Gore, wicca, witch, witchcraft, pagan, paganism
posted by omelas @ 1:41 PM
2 Comments:
Once again well done. You have given a compling arguement. I agree relabeling pluto has just made someone alot of money. It is a shame that we are creatures of such greed. As far as I am concerned pluto is as it has been a planet. The problem with scientists is that they are so hell bent on thinking that thier answers are difinative that they fail to see the truth in front of them. Got to get that nobel prize at any cost! Sad as for the four horsemen they have always been here death, famine, disease, pestilence, these are all normal human conditions. We fail sometimes to notice that we are living on and are a part of a living planet. We like to think we are better or above it with our technology, yet it is that very technology that is destroying eden! Now we think our technology can save us, funny we have always thought that and so we carelessly go around sowing the seeds of our own self destruction. Here's a thought why not just get away from greed and arogance and create a technology that works with the planet. Instead of creating new technology lets fix what we got. Sadly to say that, if we were to explore new planets and colonize them at this point in our developement we would junk those planets to we, have already done that in orbit. In the end I think our technology has evolved at a faster rate then we have and we have become slaves to it! The end my very will be by our own design and we become our own fourhorsemen.
Do you ever get the feeling that your blog does not get read?!
/sarcasm off
Actually, Pluto was unknown to us until this century when an astronomer who wanted to make a name for himself decided it was a planet. That was pretty much it.
Scientists just made a good point that if you're going to call something by a name there should be a reason.
And ah... definately that post fell on the side of technology...
(sighs) if an olive can sigh....
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